Posted on Leave a comment

Fear knocked at the door, faith answered. There was no one there

I’ve not long realised, with the help of my 12 step recovery plan, how much fear was affecting my art, myself and my life. Fear of not being good enough, fear of ridicule, fear of negativity, fear of failure. Is the art I’m creating the right type? Can I find my niche and style? Will people like it? Am I an artist of any worth?

After talking to my partner I agreed to take a time out and to have a soul refreshing weekend away. And then it happens on the morning we are to leave. Three sales, two commissions and another two sales whilst away. Allowing myself to be taken by the currents of life rather than exhaustively fighting against them has lead to a richer, deeper understanding of both my artwork and what is actually meaningful to me in life. Being a mother, a lover, a daughter, a sister, a friend along with being an artist of worth is far more important to me than any particular financial gain and this has come to me in all the lovely comments and support from the individuals who follow my work on Facebook. It truly has meant so much to me. I thank each and everyone of you and send my love.

Fear did indeed knock at the door but all the beautiful people out there reminded me that there is never anyone there. To have faith that there is a plan. That whilst I won’t always get what I want. I will always get what I need.

Posted on Leave a comment

Acceptance is the Key

It’s been one of those days today. Out and about noticing scowls, bad moods. Dark aura’s seem to be the theme of the day. Even online I found myself trolled by someone who obviously had nothing better to do with their day. I found this mood rubbing off on me, frustration, anger and resentment building within like a hot flame. A flame I’m only too aware can lead to, for an addict like me and my loved ones, a world of pain and sorrow.

Acceptance is the key! Acceptance of people, places, things and situations. Removing the need to control, removing expectations, removing the focus from self. I always, in times like this, find myself falling into my art, allowing my emotions to run wild and create rather than destroy. Instead of accepting a day of frustration and resentments, I have found a day of peace and serenity through work on my latest commission and working the principles of my 12 step program. After all, I will rest my head tonight sober and at peace!