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Fear knocked at the door, faith answered. There was no one there

I’ve not long realised, with the help of my 12 step recovery plan, how much fear was affecting my art, myself and my life. Fear of not being good enough, fear of ridicule, fear of negativity, fear of failure. Is the art I’m creating the right type? Can I find my niche and style? Will people like it? Am I an artist of any worth?

After talking to my partner I agreed to take a time out and to have a soul refreshing weekend away. And then it happens on the morning we are to leave. Three sales, two commissions and another two sales whilst away. Allowing myself to be taken by the currents of life rather than exhaustively fighting against them has lead to a richer, deeper understanding of both my artwork and what is actually meaningful to me in life. Being a mother, a lover, a daughter, a sister, a friend along with being an artist of worth is far more important to me than any particular financial gain and this has come to me in all the lovely comments and support from the individuals who follow my work on Facebook. It truly has meant so much to me. I thank each and everyone of you and send my love.

Fear did indeed knock at the door but all the beautiful people out there reminded me that there is never anyone there. To have faith that there is a plan. That whilst I won’t always get what I want. I will always get what I need.

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Lest we forget

It’s that time of year were we once again remember all those who have made the ultimate sacrifice. I find that word is often bandied around with little meaning or understanding of what a sacrifice actually is. We are asked, in this time of epidemic, to make sacrifices. Don’t meet with friends. Don’t meet with family. Stay at home. Are these sacrifices? I would say not. They are intended to keep people alive regardless on your viewpoint of whether it’s false or not. Next time you hear the word sacrifice perhaps a thought for those who truly made the supreme sacrifice should be at the for front of our thoughts and feelings.

I’ve attempted to pay my own personal tribute to all those who have fallen and will unfortunately continue to fall through a new exploration in oils. I find oils very forgiving. Mistakes can be easily wiped away for a new start allowing me, I hope, to blossom through a new medium. Mistakes, starting again and blossoming are something they will never have to chance to achieve.

Rest in Peace