So it’s coming up to that time of year once again; Christmas, the holiday season,the festive season. It doesn’t really matter. The truth of belief in whatever will always lead to the One true light. It can be sad that sometimes this is the only time of year that any thought is given to something that is more than us, a power higher than myself. I believe it’s time to bring oneself back to what matters. There is only one truth and that truth is love in whatever form it takes.
I took myself to the darkest of dark places. A place I felt I would be chained to for the rest of my life. I could feel myself loosing that love, loosing my children, loosing my respect, loosing my mind. Indeed, loosing me. So I decided to give that something else a chance. I decided to let go and let God in the broadest sense of the word.
Has my life changed? In answer I can say I have my family around me today. I feel respected for who I am. I love what I do in life. I feel loved. Is that a life beyound my wildest dreams. For an acloholic who was in the pits of despair I have found my own little piece of heaven on earth. But I try to remember to give back. We are never all in the same boat. We are in different boats. Some big and safe, some small and fragile. Some will ride out the storms which arise. Some will unfortunately drown.
My life now is a life of rebirth. From the ashes it shall arise. This Christmas I hope we can all arise from our slumber and arise every day of our existence. Compassion costs nothing but the rewards are greater than we could ever imagine.
Autumn, a time of retreat, of change, of decay yet such a beautiful season. The wind, rain and storms approach with a ferocity that only nature can conjure and the days begin to darken, as night stealthily creeps closer; there is still so much colour and beauty.
Meandering through the local woodland, watching the squirrels hustle and bustle as they store for the coming winter the landscape has exploded into nature’s palette. Reds, yellows, browns and golden wonder stand stark against the crisp blue background of the sky.
Nature inspires me. It presents me with a spectacle of awe, a framework of colour, shade and light that I look to bring to my own artwork. In these troubled times as the planet’s life force itself stands on a knife edge I try to do the best I can. It is never enough but I try. I want my children to have a world of splendor and beauty, a world full of hope, to be the guardians of our world which we have only borrowed to keep safe for future generations.
So I look to create beauty, calm, fantasy and wonder in my artwork. To try to say these images do not only have to be in our imaginations, they can become real. We are all individually like a stone dropped into water. The ripple we cause will have an affect on everything. The Butterfly effect. So we can chose to bring darkness and chaos or we can chose light and beauty.
My latest work, in oils this time, is on the theme of gratitude. A woman simply grateful to be sat in the warm sun. It’s an easy word to say but not always so easy to actually feel! I have much to be grateful for in my life both as an artist and as a human being.
There is a lot going on at the moment which could easily stray me from the path of gratitude. I currently have ‘shingles’ which is really impacting my life with severe pain and fatigue. I try to distract myself through my art but it has to be in small increments.
I’m also attempting to put my presence further out online by applying for some of the top galleries such as Saatchi and Artfinder. Of course with this comes fear. Fear of not being good enough. Fear of rejection. Attempting to understand that a potential rejection of my work is not a rejection of me as a person.
But gratitude has to be the key. I’m a selling artist, my following is increasing quite dramatically, I’ve been featured in various media including the Daily Mirror, I have a loving home and most importantly, I’ve not picked up a drink today. ODAAT.
I hope my next blog will have good news within it but if not the journey, as it always does, will continue. Bye for now and take care.
That’s what my job has felt like a lot over the last 9 months. Everything on a wing and a prayer. Making the step to go into business with my art has been a huge one. This is not one of those trades that is always in need and art, to us all, is so subjective. One person’s treasure is another person’s pig’s ear.
So 9 months ago I took the plunge. I set up this website, increased my presence through social media and it seems to be paying off. My work is selling, my following is increasing. I’ve opened an Ebay and Facebook shop and my commissions are increasing. I’m now looking to upgrade my website to the next level. Again a financial chance but I can only see were it takes me.
Over that time I and my work have changed dramatically. From a period of darkness has come a period of light. My work is bright, carefree and connected with nature and the world around me. I see colours and beauty that I never knew existed, that I feel no option but to put to canvas. The need to share it with other’s, perhaps as if to say there is always a light at the end of every tunnel. We will see it in time.
Believing in myself, my abilities and accepting that what will be, will indeed be has lead me to a serene place; in my work, my recovery and my life. However, I certainly can’t take all the credit for it. Without faith, belief in something greater than myself I would not be where I am today. Who knows what tomorrow, let alone the future, will bring. I know I only have today and I’m perfectly happy to live in it.
So many of my past paintings have been very dark in image, very probably due to where I was in addiction. Whilst I still enjoy this style I’m seeing and appreciating the colours around me in recovery. This is inspiring me to explore works in new, vibrant tones, feeling the beauty of the rainbow my life is becoming.
Recovery is giving me the opportunity to explore new pastures, to re-evaluate life and my place in it. To reach out, through the fear of the unknown, and allow self expression in a new light. It’s even lead me now to the idea of of a new medium of expression using oils. Allowing me to build a confidence in a new format and hang the results!
It’s strange how going with the flow can make such a difference. Only a few days ago I was struggling with self doubt. Worried about the choices I was making. Whether I’m creating the ‘right‘ kind of art. Should I be commercialising my work? Wanting to stay true to the styles I create that are meaningful to me.
Two days later and I have four commissions and a request for a print! Whilst this request is away from my usual work a commission is a commission and I’m always extremely grateful to receive a request. Whilst creating for the sake of doing so will always come first it is nice to feel appreciated and it does help to put food on the table!
You must be logged in to post a comment.