I’ve not long realised, with the help of my 12 step recovery plan, how much fear was affecting my art, myself and my life. Fear of not being good enough, fear of ridicule, fear of negativity, fear of failure. Is the art I’m creating the right type? Can I find my niche and style? Will people like it? Am I an artist of any worth?
After talking to my partner I agreed to take a time out and to have a soul refreshing weekend away. And then it happens on the morning we are to leave. Three sales, two commissions and another two sales whilst away. Allowing myself to be taken by the currents of life rather than exhaustively fighting against them has lead to a richer, deeper understanding of both my artwork and what is actually meaningful to me in life. Being a mother, a lover, a daughter, a sister, a friend along with being an artist of worth is far more important to me than any particular financial gain and this has come to me in all the lovely comments and support from the individuals who follow my work on Facebook. It truly has meant so much to me. I thank each and everyone of you and send my love.
Fear did indeed knock at the door but all the beautiful people out there reminded me that there is never anyone there. To have faith that there is a plan. That whilst I won’t always get what I want. I will always get what I need.
It’s been a while since I last blogged, mainly as I’ve been putting a lot of work into my other creative love, working with wood. There’s something about a feeling of spirit, of connection, of a natural interaction when working with nature.
This contrasts so sharply with my latest artwork. A Rainy Day in London. A theme I’ve been thinking of trying for a while but also something away from my usual style. The overlapping bustle and oppressiveness of an urban landscape as opposed to the simplicity and calm of a natural backdrop, a being I focus on to keep me centered on this journey called life.
When Life gives you Lemons…(the title for my latest work) why not paint them! In these unusual and unsure coronavirus times life seems to throw curve balls at an incredible and completely unpredictable speed. It sometimes seems like one problem after another to be surmounted. But then that’s what we do, we adapt. we look at the lemons and decide to make lemonade.
Someone once told me, “Treat every problem as a challenge as every problem has an answer.” And they do. Sometimes the answer is simply there is no answer at the moment! But every cloud does have a silver lining, there is always a positive to be found. Even when we don’t want to find it. Just for today, when life gives me lemons, I’ll damn well paint them!
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